 Title: "The Mistaken Romance" ===== He paused working and wiped a grimy hand across his damp forehead. The sun was fortunately playing hide and seek with clumps of clouds in the bright sky and had temporarily dashed behind a large gray mass; it was an unseasonably hot day for late autumn ... "Damn, I hate this work," he said, walking over to the big man and putting a hand on his shoulder. "You know, you can talk to me, Hoss," he suggested in a softer voice. "I'm your friend." The two men had been working away side-by-side all morning, digging post holes and setting uprights for fencing. In the nearby wagon there were huge rolls of barb wire, waiting to be strung. But so far they'd only spoken in order communicate necessary information concerning the task at hand. Hoss Cartwright tamped the earth around the bottom of a post and leaned against it, panting. "Nothin' to say, Candy. Let it go. I'm fine." 'Candy' Canaday shook his head and walked over to the wagon. He reached under the seat and brought out a canteen. "How about a drink?" he asked, extending it toward his friend. Hoss nodded wordlessly and moved to take the canteen. He opened it and took a long swig before handing it back to Candy. Hoss' shirt was soaked with sweat and covered with dirt. He pulled a red bandana handkerchief from a back pocket and began to mop his flushed face. Candy drank and then stood close by Hoss, studying his friend's face. Hoss' expression was solemn -- practically grim. It was entirely uncommon for the usually jovial man ... "She isn't worth it," Candy said, continuing to stare into Hoss' face. "She's-" Hoss puffed up with sudden anger, his blue eyes flashing. "Don't say it!" he warned. "I don't want to hear what you think she is." They stood quiet for several long moments staring at one another, Hoss glowering and Candy placid. "That's right," Candy said, nodding his head. "You don't want to hear. It might spare you some grief, but you'd rather not hear it. Even though I'm your friend and I'm trying to help you." Hoss moved to the wagon and leaned heavily against it, his back to Candy. "Sorry. I'm just not good company right now. Forget it, will you?" "Forgotten," Candy replied, moving back toward the half-finished fence. They returned to work, both men silent. ===== Early the following day found the sun just beginning to filter through the dining room windows as breakfast was served in the main house of the Ponderosa. "He's ... Well, he's not Hoss, Pa," Little Joe Cartwright said, glancing around him. "I just don't see-" "No, you don't," Ben Cartwright said, taking a sip from his steaming cup. "Leave him alone, Joe. He needs to deal with it in his own way, his own time. Every person reacts differently to losing someone they love. You know that." "He didn't really love her," Joe commented, helping himself to a mound of fried potatoes. "She wasn't his type at all. What a-" "Good morning, Son!" Ben interrupted, his voice hearty. "You must be starved." "Morning Pa," Hoss replied as he sat down. "Morning Joe." "Morning, Hoss," Joe answered, shooting his father a look of gratitude for the warning as Hoss seated himself. "You and Candy put in a long day yesterday." Ben winked at Joe while Hoss' attention was diverted by filling his plate. "Yep. I can't believe we've never fenced that stretch before now," Hoss said, sliding several pieces of ham on top of the pile of food he'd already stacked in front of him. "Gave me an appetite, that's for sure." "Good thing," Joe broke in. "You haven't been eating enough lately." Hoss glanced across the table at his younger brother. "That right?" His tone was cool. "All I mean is-" "All he means is this is some breakfast," Ben offered enthusiastically, smiling at Hoss. "Hop Sing outdid himself today. Yes, sir." Hoss didn't return Ben's smile, but he did begin to eat. The awkward moment passed ... "I'm headed to town after that shipment of feed," Joe said, his mouth half full. "You want to come along, Hoss?" Hoss continued to stare down at his plate as he continued eating. "Naw. Candy and I are goin' to try and get that fence finished today. We want an early start before it gets too hot." "How far along is it?" Ben questioned, taking another drink of the strong coffee. Hop Sing bustled into the room carrying a large platter of fresh flapjacks. He placed it directly in front of Hoss, then moved to the coffee pot and refilled Hoss' cup. "Hey, Hop Sing, I'd like some more coffee," Joe said, holding out his cup. "You get up and get it," Hop Sing instructed. He was buttering a piece of toast that he added to Hoss' plate. "You think Hop Sing have all day to wait on you?" "Never mind," Joe replied, disgruntled. He jumped up and moved around the table to lift the pot. "Never mind," he repeated. "I'll do it myself." Hoss ignored them both and turned toward Ben. "The posts are all set. We just need to string the last of the wire. I hate that part," he added, looking down at an angry scratch on his right forearm. "You keep your sleeves down and those gloves on," Ben ordered, glancing at the clearly infected wound. "You should let Hop Sing take a look at that," he added, concerned. "It's fine, Pa. Bound to happen when you're working with barbed wire. You should see the one that Candy got on his leg." "I make poultice for you," Hop Sing said, adding more potatoes to Hoss' plate. "You put on tonight and tomorrow arm is better. Tell Candy I make poultice for him, too." "Thanks, Hop Sing. I'll do that," Hoss said, pushing back from the table and rising. "Eat more," Hop Sing ordered, gesturing at Hoss' half-full plate. "You need eat more." "I've got to get to work," Hoss answered in a flat voice. He moved to the pegs by the front door and grabbed up his large hat as he left. "This wrong. Wrong," Hop Sing muttered as he carried Hoss' plate of food off toward the kitchen. "He can say that again," Joe agreed, gloomily. "Hoss didn't even eat a single pancake!" "Give him time, Joe," Ben said. "Just give him time." "He's going to waste away to nothing if this keeps up!" Joe took a swallow of coffee and left the table, clearly distressed. Ben sighed and shoved away his own plate. "At this rate none of us is going to get a decent meal," Ben said to the empty room. Then he, too, rose and headed outside. ===== "Well, that finishes it," Candy said, grunting. "And about time, too." "Good job," Hoss commented, wiping his arm across his forehead. "And we've got half the day to go." "What you planning to do with the rest of the day, Hoss?" Candy asked. He grabbed up his previously discarded shirt and used it to mop his wet face and chest. Hoss glanced over at Candy and grinned. "You know, I think I'll take a swim in that creek over there. Cool off. How about it? I think we've earned it." "Sounds good to me!" Hoss sat on a large felled tree and began yanking off his boots. Candy perched beside him and did the same. Then both men stood and began quickly peeling off their clothes. When they were down to their shorts Hoss stopped and began to wade into the water. Candy grinned and shoved his drawers down, stepping out of them and sprinting into the creek beside Hoss. "There's nobody around but us, Hoss," Candy said, thumping Hoss on one broad shoulder. "You could have come in buck naked." Hoss colored. "Yeah, well, I don't feel right about it, I guess. Dumb ole Hoss, huh?" "Naw, it's not dumb. But we're friends. We're both men and we've both seen plenty of men naked in our day, I'll wager. But whatever makes you comfortable, Hoss." "Well, I figure it's bad enough for somebody to have to see this hairy body of mine," Hoss said, running a hand across his furry chest. "I guess women are pretty put off by all this hair," he added. "I guess that depends on the woman, Hoss. Nothin' wrong with a hairy man as far as I can see." Hoss lifted his head and looked into Candy's face. "Well ..." he drawled. "I don't know ..." Candy smiled his most charming smile. "Hoss, you just trust old Candy. Some women like a man with hair. It's ... it's manly to them." Hoss lifted a big paw and ran it across the top of his head. "Not much hair up here, though. Funny how there's so much on my body." "I guess that's how it works with some men. There's nothing wrong with the hair on your head, though, Hoss. You're a good looking man." Hoss laughed. "That's crazy talk. I'm just about as plain as they come. Downright ugly sometimes, like when I'm all red in the face from working or from being in the sun. Look at these crooked teeth. A mule has a prettier face than me." Candy moved closer to his friend and dropped his hand on Hoss' shoulder. "You've got an honest face. It's a kind face. It's usually smiling and good-natured. Those are all fine things in a face, Hoss. Nothin' ugly about that." Hoss just stared into Candy's smiling face. "You've got about the warmest smile I've ever seen on a person, Hoss. Man or woman. And that's good, too." "Thanks, Candy. I don't know if you're saying that just to be nice, but thanks. Makes me feel good to hear it." Candy patted Hoss' shoulder then reached down and splashed the water beside them, laughing. "This feels good!" he crowed. Hoss grinned and leaned back, floating. He kicked his big feet upward and then let them sink back under. "It sure does." "You know what, Hoss? Women aren't the only comfort a man can find in this world." He deliberately turned away from Hoss and began to paddle lazily through the water. Hoss moved toward Candy, a small frown on his face. "Candy, women haven't been much comfort to me," he said quietly. They both moved toward the bank and found a place where they could sit leaning back, still immersed from the waist down in the cool water. "Hoss, I just think folks are meant to have somebody special in their lives. Somebody for them to care about. Sometimes a man finds that in a woman. But sometimes he finds it with another man." "That so? I thought folks didn't think that was ..." Hoss trailed off. "You all that worried about what other people think, Hoss? I'm not talking about doing something like horse stealing here. I'm just saying two men can care and love each other just like a man and woman can. Don't I recall you sticking up for those two women who live together at the old Jackson spread?" "It's their business," Hoss replied firmly. "Yep, it's clear how it is with them, but I don't see why folks care one way or the other. They're good people. They help others out. The live decent lives and don't bother anyone. You know, it just makes me see red when folks start giving them a hard time -- or when they bad mouth them behind their backs." "Exactly so," Candy agreed. "I've heard you say that before." "So what's your point?" Hoss asked, furrowing his brow. "My point is that it's okay for them to love each other and live like a man and wife would. You've said so yourself often enough. As long as they aren't hurting anyone -- or one another -- it's just fine. So why not say the same for two men, Hoss?" Hoss considered. "I suppose it would be okay. Heck, I guess I may have seen that before, too. It doesn't bother me none." "Would it bother you if we were talking about one of your relatives? Or me?" Hoss glanced quickly at Candy. "Nope. No." His tone was clearly surprised. "Glad to hear it," Candy replied. "I guess it's just good when people come together," Hoss mused. "Now me, I don't seem to be able to do that." "You've had some bad experiences with women, Hoss," Candy said, "but that doesn't mean you can't be close to another person. I'm just saying don't close any doors." "My heart is pretty sore right now," Hoss whispered. "I'm not sure it's safe when you open those doors, Candy." "Love's a funny thing all right," Candy replied. "It can hurt like nothing else in this world. But it can be the best feeling, too. I guess you have to decide whether or not to take a chance on it." "I guess so. I guess I know that," Hoss conceded, glancing again into Candy's smiling face. "Well, I'm ready to head back," Candy said, rising from the water. "I'm starting to pucker up like a prune," he added, looking down at his whitened hands. Hoss rose, staring at the back of Candy's naked body. "Yep. I'd like to go get on some fresh clothes." Candy rapidly slipped into his clothes and moved toward the two horses that stood grazing nearby, reins trailing. He walked them over and began to hitch them up to the wagon. Hoss dressed more slowly, then began loading up their tools and the leftover supplies. He stood for a moment staring at the new fence, deep in thought. Finally he pulled himself up to the seat of the wagon with a large grunt, sitting down on one side of the buckboard, next to where Candy was already settled. "You want to drive?" Candy asked him, extending the reins. "Nope. You go ahead. I'd like to doze, I think." Hoss pulled his hat down over his eyes and slumped on the seat as Candy snickered to the horses and slapped them gently with the reins. Soon they were on the narrow dirt track and headed back to the house ... ===== Later in the day Hoss sat on the edge of his big bed, his large hands folded in his lap. Then he rose and moved to a drawer where he pulled out a small book, a pen and a bottle of ink. Settling himself on a chair he began to write ... 'I've been hurt and I've been lonely. 'My family loves me. My friends love me. But it's not enough. 'I want someone to be beside me. To share my jokes and share my sorrows. 'I want someone to share my bed at night. 'Maybe Candy was trying to tell me something more than what he said. I don't know. But if I don't take a chance I'll never know for sure. 'I can face pain. I've faced it before. But I can't keep on facing being alone. So I guess I'll have to take that chance.' Hoss carefully set aside the pen and shoved the cork back into the bottle. Then he waited several seconds and finally blew on the page to help it dry. "Wish I had a blotter," he muttered to himself. He tested the writing with one big finger. Satisfied at last, he closed the book and put everything back away. Then he moved to the door, down the stairs and outside ... ===== "You fellas seen Candy?" Hoss asked, sticking his head inside the bunkhouse door. "I think I saw him heading toward the barn," one man answered from his game of checkers at the table. The other man playing with him grunted what might have been an agreement. "Lord, it's hot," a third man said from his place on one of the bunks. "Yep, it sure is," Hoss agreed, moving away and shutting the bunkhouse door firmly behind him. He turned his head and surveyed the area as he walked toward the barn. There wasn't a person anywhere in sight. Hoss reached the slightly ajar barn door and began to push it open. He stopped abruptly when his eyes caught sight of his brother Joe. Joe was turned sideways to him and clearly embracing another man. It only took a second for Hoss to recognize Candy's red shirt and black vest ... Hoss stood stock still and watched as Candy and Joe hugged and then kissed. Then he carefully pulled the door shut and moved quietly toward a small path behind the barn. He began to walk quickly away, his hands balled into fists at his side. ===== "Where Hoss?" Hop Sing asked as he set a large bowl down on the dining room table. "Yeah, where is Hoss, Pa? I thought he was up in his room, but I just checked and there's no sign of him." Ben folded the paper he'd been reading and set it aside. He rose from his chair near the fireplace and moved toward the dining table. "Why can't you leave him alone, Joseph?" "I'm leaving him alone, Pa. I just wondered where he was," he answered, following Ben to the table. The door opened behind them and Hoss entered. He was bare-headed; his hair was damp from sweat. "Just give me a second to wash up and I'll be right there," Hoss called to them, bounding up the staircase. "See? He's right here," Ben said, beginning to fill his plate with food. "But where's he been?" Joe asked, taking a large slab of bread and beginning to thickly butter it. Ben turned to his son with an expression full of exasperation. "What difference does it make, Joseph?" "I just wondered, Pa." "Could you wonder to yourself, then? I'm tired of all your questions." Minutes later Hoss joined them, his face and hands still slightly damp from washing. "I could eat a horse," Hoss said, beginning to pile food on his plate. "You can? That's great!" Joe said, beaming over at this brother. And dinner was pleasant. They all conversed and joked as they normally would, Hoss eating with his usual huge appetite. After dinner they sat in the living room and talked. Ben read aloud a few articles from the paper, while Joe and Hoss played several games of checkers. "Well," Hoss said, rising and stretching, "I'm plum worn out. I'm headed to bed." "Night, Hoss," Joe answered. "Sleep well, Hoss," Ben said, yawning. "I'm not far behind you." Hoss headed upstairs to bed ... ===== Hoss got into his nightshirt and slipped into bed. "Lord," he prayed aloud in a soft voice, "I hope they're happy together. I'm glad they've got each other." He was quiet for several minutes. He shut his eyes briefly before opening them again. "Amen," he added, turning on his back and staring up at the ceiling of his room ... The End Part One |